Most Valuable Puppet

On December 30, 1984 a hardwood King was born. 17 years later his high school basketball games would be broadcast nation wide in order to give a hungry basketball culture (and China) a glimpse of a true work of art, a freak of nature -a taste of Royalty. An appetizer that would breathe life back into a undernourished NBA nation-a culinary orgasm that had Nike distributing 90 million green bucks to a kid who, besides rocking a few questionable throwbacks, had yet to sweat in a real NBA jersey. Once fully marinated within his own glow, and a bit of the 82 herbs and spices known as a season, this kid would indeed be a complete meal that could satisfy the most greediest of critics. His 20, 5 and 6 average as a rookie had the world throwing up the 2 3 and stamping themselves as "witnesses" as if we were trying to get interviewed for a local news channel. Size, power, unselfishness, bunnies (ability to jump), court vision and let's not forget the personality. Who could forget the Lebrons? Most Valuable Puppets? MC Hammer? Besides shooting less than 80% from the charity stripe, this guy was flawless.

On May 22, he was hailed as the greatest player who had hit arguably the greatest shot in playoff history! Announcers, critics, analyst, and groupies (not limited to women, don't get it confused) alike seemed to forget about Reggie scorching the Knicks in 8 seconds; Mike skying over Craig double pump included; Stockton's trey ball in Chuck's hamburger holster; Kobe droppin 50 with a game winner from the ashy elbow; Sean Elliot toeing the sideline for a trey ball against and smoking out the blazers, all seemed to be lost on that night. To this day I still hear all the king's horses and all the king's men, chanting King James again. He had heart, determination, and most of all, he had class.

On May 30th, the tables turned. Those same critics, announcers, and analyst began to verbally assassinate the character of the King. In a losing effort King James left Orlando without congratulating his opponent and the darts began to fly. "He's a cry baby," "He should be ashamed," and "There's no crying in basketball." are just a few rocks tossed at the throne. And THEN there was Jordan Crawford. As if getting stomped in a series and having puppet commercials insinuating you'd be in a 'ship wasn't enough, The King went out and got posterized. Need I go into details? Nike confiscated the tapes and all heads turned to Lebron. Some how and some way this went back to HIS cry baby character. Never mind Nike, not LB, confiscated the tapes. Never mind Lebron continued to play the game. Never mind, that without a tear, Lebron got lost in hesitation AND THEN dunked on by Andre Igo once before. LB was again, a cry baby.

Now I am the first person to still hail Kobe as the best in the game so please do not take this as a Lebron fan message. I am simply taking note on how quickly images turn in the media and how quickly we follow. One day this Kid's only flaw is that he is too unselfish, the next day his entire character is in question. It seems as if history and past actions are continuously traded for what's most recent. This is my challenge to all fans. If you dare to argue. If you dare to be wrong. If you dare to stand alone, be loyal to something for more than a game 2. We know the media can't. But as fans we can. I'm not suggesting that we be so loyal that we lose sight of reality. Know when to revolt. Know when to say enough is enough and abandon ship. The King leaving the court is something a cry baby would do. Claro que si! But does that make him a poor sportsman or a cry baby? Jordan Crawford dunked on Ljames but does that make him Andre Igo? Marv Albert chewed on a sexy coed's ear but does that make him a cannibal? My fear is that now, if LJames shows any emotion, you disloyal civilians of the King will label it as poor sportsmanship, a testament to the true momma's boy. Then again, you flip flop so much that he can sauce you up with his next 360 degree tomahawk flush. I guess when you're the King, divine in being, ability and spirit, mere mortals look for any defect that could bring his highness to a level we all could reach. But have no fear, The empire shall rise again. All hail the King. (Let's Go Kobe!)

Generation Michael and Me?

Between reading Jean M. Twenge's Generation Me (great read) and slow sipping Apple Fruit Punch crack (Wal-Mart's 64 oz bottle of deliciousness), I flipped to E! to check out the followup coverage of the Late Great MJ's memorial service. In the sea of devoted Thriller fans, celebs and heartbroken family members alike, there was a familiar Perm. A Perm that I witnessed verbally devour naive Colgate students back in the 2001. My first thought was, "Oh here we go, the Perm has a big stage and chance for a middle finger to the White super powers." But I was punch in my prejudice mouthpiece when Rev. Al Sharpton said "And to his kids, wasn't nothing strange about your father, it was the situations he had to deal with that was strange." BANG! The crowded arena erupted and I started to think "man please, Mike was crazy as hell."

Fast forward...Today I had a conversation with my co-worker who stated, "Al Sharpton was OK, I just don't think he should have lied to the children. Michael was strange." To this I asked "How was he strange?" She looked at me as if I had pale skin, soft voice, a little nose, and surgically adjusted cheek bones and said " according to today's standards of what a normal person is, he is VERY weird."It's funny that less than 12 hours before our conversation I agreed with her 110%. "Mike was crazy." However, at that moment I felt the biggest disconnect to such a statement. I thought to myself "is/was Michael weird?" In a society where plastic surgery is almost as normal as mascara, where having a bag of Ethiopian kids is a fashion trend like crocs and tight jeans (gotta buy all of them in pairs), and where we overwhelmingly emphasize to our children to "be yourself, be different," was/is Mike strange? Is he any different than Meg Ryan whose lips look like she is always preparing to blow on hot soup? Or Pamela Anderson who I still believe to be smuggling small orphans in her DKNY? Or Nelly who wore a band aid under his eye to be different (a fashion adopted by D.Wade during a stretch of the NBA season)? Today's standard of what is normal is illustrated by being different. Are you normal? Then show Us how different you can be? Wouldn't it be weird, according to today's standards, to see Mike, Tito, Jermaine and Joe dressed alike? Or would that be normal due to the fact that it was different? After all, we do not see too many middle aged men dressed in matching flip flops and tank tops unless they are at work. So, I ask, does Mike's abnormalities or "strange" qualities, make him... normal? Maybe society is so screwed up that we push "normal" people to do abnormal things in order to fit in with us normal abnormals. The result being a miserable normal person who would have been fine if not for our push for him/her to be perfectly abnormal. I guess it's perfectly normal to be different, just not THAT abnormal. It's all making sense now. I finally understand what Dr. Twenge means when she says "Why American's are more confident, assertive, entitled and more miserable than ever before."